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The Pony Variety Show!

Eager fans flood through the doors, pressing aside competitors for good seats within the crowded theatre! You manage to fight off two ponies and outpace a massive guy, squeezing into a seat before somepony else steals it! The crowd has gotten so big that two full balconies have been added, giving the entire room the feeling of a small stadium! Lights beam everywhere as Spike dashes onto the stage, skidding to a stop at a microphone set at the center.
"Fillies and gentlecolts, bronies of all ages, I give you the fillies that give you the chillies, the ponies who ain't no phonies, the cream of the crop!" He leans in with a grin," Bronies, I suggest you hold your seats. Everypony, it's your little ponies in, the Pony Variety Show!" He quickly dashes from the stage as the theme begins.
With that, the curtain raises, revealing a large cast of ponies in lined up as if doing the conga, all stepping in time to the new opening theme for the show. Pinkie Pie leads the dancing in her can can outfit. The various stallions and mares are all wearing random costumes come parading out from both sides of the stage, singing lustily as they pass across each other in waves. You're pretty sure you spot Derpy passing herself as they go by.
Twilight opens the rendition as she struts onto the stage, her mic magically suspended in front of her. Her eyes flash brilliantly as she puts on her dance moves, which don't amount to much more than a bit of ill practiced thrashing.

"It's time for the show-show-show!
Let's get up and go-go-go!
You bronies prepare-pare-pare,
It's our time to share-share-share!
That guy's in his underwear!?"

The guy in his underwear glances about at everypony staring at him. "What!? I didn't feel like getting dressed just to watch My Little Pony!"
The trooping ponies join into Twilight's song at that moment, each adding more musical harmony as they smile, turning their heads in time with the music.

"That guy's in his underwear-wear-wear!
It's our time to share-share-share!
We fly high and dance low, we're getting in the flow,
It's the Pooonyyy Variiietyyy Shooooow!"

Wild applause fills the theatre as the curtain sweeps down to hide the dancers. Spike reemerges from backstage, laughing heartily as he smiles at you. "Welcome once again to the Pony Variety Show!"
A second applause follows.
"First, I'd like to suggest the gentleman in his underwear put some pants on at least! It's kinda creeping me out!"
"Oh fine!" The overweight brony presses past several uncomfortable fillies, grumbling as he heads off to find some pants.
"Ah, thank you!" Spike calls after him, sending a rippling laugh through the audience. "So today on the PVS!, we have a great line of acts for you! Soarin' and Spitfire will be acting out a scene from 'American Pie', Pinkie and Rainbow Dash face off to see who will be the master, Princess Luna does the moonwalk with our special guest, we read your fan mail, and of course, the ever popular behind the scenes!"
More cheering and applause rings out, which Spike quickly waves down.
"Hold the phone everypony, because I haven't even gotten to our special guest yet!" The lights suddenly dim, leaving the stage barely illuminated. Spike begins to whisper out an introduction, which resounds as everypony waits expectantly. "Even as a boy, they said he was gonna go far, a child prodigy destined for greatness! Predictions proved correct, and as he grew, so to did his fame! Soon enough he would become an icon around the world, known far and wide as the King of Pop! Fillies and Gentlecolts, the legend lives again! I give you, Michael Jackson!"
Spotlights fix upon the right side of the stage, eliciting gasps of surprise, followed by wild cheers and thundering applause as, indeed back from the dead, Michael Jackson strides onto the scene, his face beaming in the spotlights as he holds out his arms wide! He's wearing a black fedora, shimmering jacket, leather pants, and a brilliant, rhinestone studded glove over his left hand. Several fillies in the front row pass out in their seats from overexcitement, and security ponies are forced to hold the crowd back from rushing the stage!
Spike climbs up on a short staircase that is brought out by a pair of pegasus. He holds out the mic for the superstar, who almost whispers into it, giving you all the first taste of his voice. "Thank you all, thank you. It's wonderful to be back."
"So how was coming back?" Spike asks, then presents the mic up agian.
"It was fun, it was fun. I enjoyed it." Michael responds with a shy smile.
"Well it's great to have you on the show! Let's get to the first act, shall we!?" Spike asks, and is replied by whooping as ponies and bronies shoot to their feet, clapping for the host and guest as they retreat from the stage, waving as they go.

* * *

The curtain opens again, revealing Soarin' and Spitfire walking down a sidewalk by a number of houses. Spitfire, clearly upset by something, strolls along angrily, followed closely by Soarin'.
"I was being selfish, and majorly insensitive, and I'm a total idiot." The pale blue pony says, looking over at his blazing yellow companion.
"I think sh*thead really says it." She replies, squinting back at her pursuer.
"Yes, I'm a sh*thead! I'm a complete and total sh*thead!" Soarin' answers with a cheeky grin. Spitfire cracks a smile at him. "…and I want to try to make is up to you."
"How?" She asks as she looks at him, lowering her eyelids to that intense, bedroom stare. The curtain falls, and a large ruckus begins behind the stage.
"Oof! Watch it!" Somepony hisses.
"Derpy, not with the… look out!" The cry of distress is punctuated by a spear head piercing the curtain! It quickly withdraws as Derpy wings her way out, sticking red duct tape over the hole. She smiles at you, then disappears behind the curtain once again.
"Now just move the set piece over there, and… No! Stop, stop, stop! Not like that!" Twilight yells, groaning in frustration.
"Okay, places everypony!" Rarity calls, followed by a clatter of hooves.
The curtain slides up, revealing a bedroom, a door, and a staircase leading down into a living room. Spitfire is laying on her back upon the bed, looking out at all of you. She seems to be rolling her eyes. Off between her legs on the far side of the bed, Soarin's electric blue mane can be seen bobbing up and down in time with loud, mushy slurping sounds.
"You know, when you said you'd make it up to me, I didn't think this was what you had in mind." Spitfire grumbled, laying her head to one side.
"Oh come on, Spitfire! It's really good!" Soarin' replies cheerfully, peering up over her body at you.
"For you maybe, but I'm just not feeling it." She rolls her eyes.
Down in the kitchen, Princess Cadence is straining some pasta, seemingly oblivious.
"Psst! Cadence! That's your cue!" A whisper hisses out from the side of the stage. Looking up, she gives you all a cheerful grin, clears her throat, then over dramatically begins reciting her lines.
"Hon!? Can you tell Spit… heehee, Spit! I, uh, I mean Spit… to come on down for supper?" She looks enthusiastically off-stage. "How was that?" The thump of a pony facehoofing themselves responds. Shining Armor looks up from the newspaper he's holding, smiling nervously over at Cadence. He nods, then rises from his chair, plodding slowly up the stairs to the bedroom.
"Ah, it's so good…" Spitfire recites irritably, not even trying to sound enthusiastic. A loud slurp sounds, causing the irritable Spitfire to grit her teeth. "Look Soarin', this really isn't working! I thought you said you were going to make it up to me, not spill the juice all over my bedsheets!"
Soarin' looks up from between her legs, shushing her. "Spitfire, shhh, you know there's no lock on your door."
"Aaaugh!" Spitfire pulls a pillow over her head. "What does a lock have to do with anything!?"
"I don't want to have to share it with anypony else!" Soarin' replies, a look of consternation spread across his face. Outside the bedroom door, Shining Armor reaches for the handle, his hoof visibly shaking as he glances out at all of your expectant faces.
From high above the audience, off in their private balcony box, two old ponies lean forward against the railing. They begin shouting uproariously at the hesitant Shining Armor.
"Go on, open the door already!" The shorter, balding Mr. Waddle yells.
"It's okay boy! It's not like they're poundin' the cake or anything!" Geri Fore, the taller, white maned pony jibes in.
"Poundin' the cake, that's a good one!" Mr. Waddle chortles.
"Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to concentrate!" Shining Armor yells up at them, then leans closer to the door, nervously awaiting his cue.
"Oh just finish it already!" Spitfire sits up sharply, yelling at still slurping Soarin'.
Shining Armor, apparently forgetting his lines, pushes open the door, looking about in alarm at the room's occupants. Startled by the unscheduled intrusion, Soarin' finally looks up from between Spitfire's legs, purple filling and crumbs of pie crust mushed all over his face.
"What in the hay are you two up to!? It sounds… Is that blueberry pie?" Shining Armor stares, nonplussed.
"Some make-up gift." Spitfire complains, gesturing at the gluttonous Soarin'. "I don't even like blueberry pie that much, and he eats it all anyway!"
"Aww man… does this mean I have to share it with you too, Mr. Armor?" Soarin' whines as Spitfire gets up from her bed, stomping off in a huff as the curtain falls.
"Well, that was disappointing." Mr. Waddles groans.
"Yeah I know what you mean." Geri replies as the two old ponies shake their heads, "He should have gone for the peach pie."

* * *

The curtain sweeps aside, revealing a large, well built black man with a thin beard. He's wrapped in a towel at his waste, showing off his pecs. He smiles out at you from a bathroom you don't remember being there in the last scene.
"Hello fillies. Look at your brony, now back to me. Now back at your brony, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped sitting in front of the computer and used apple scented Old Spice, he could smell like he's me!" The man holds up a bottle of Old Spice with apples body wash.
Looking down at the floor, he continues to speak as scenery goes flying, revealing the deck of a yacht, the sea spreading for miles behind him. "Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on a boat with the man your brony could smell like. What's in your hand?" He lifts up a seashell. As it opens, you see a set of DVDs "I have it. It's an oyster with a prerelease of Friendship is Magic, Season 3! Look again, the DVDs now have Season 4 too!"
As your eyes focus in on the precious DVD set, they suddenly blow away like sand, revealing the bottle of Old Spice with apples again. "Anything is possible when your brony smells like Old Spice and not a brony. I'm on a horse."
The scene has changed somehow, revealing the mysterious black man to be sitting upon a massive, muscular white stallion. Rearing up, the bulked up pony flexes one bicep. "YEEEEAH!"
The curtain falls once again.

* * *

For some reason, the next act seems to be taking too long. You feel just about ready for a snack when Bluenose, one of the changeling camera crew creeps out onto the stage. He holds a hoof up to his lips, shushing you all with a playful grin. Pulling out a remote, he presses a button that starts the new big screen up as it extends from above the stage. Creeping back he settles to watch as the image comes to life.
The camera is shaking gently, and a small blinking icon in the lower left announces 'live' to you all. As it takes focus, you see a bit of a disagreement forming backstage. Twilight is lumbering along with difficulty, owing to the fact that Fluttershy is attached to one of her hind legs.
"Please oh please cancel the next act." Fluttershy begs, which only seems to annoy Twilight more.
"I said no! Just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean the audience isn't looking forward to it." Twilight answers with a huff.
"But all of those poor, innocent creatures might get hurt. Poke'mon battling can be really rough."
"Listen, Fluttershy," Twilight says condescendingly, "we're all under contract, including the animals. If the fans want a Poke'mon battle, you're just gonna have to live with it."
"Plee-hee-hee-hease!" Fluttershy wails quietly, making Twilight roll her eyes.
"If I let you declare when one of them is unfit to battle, will you stop worrying?"
Sniffling, Fluttershy looked unsure, but nodded anyway. As Twilight pulled her leg free and began lecturing her friend on acceptable battle terms, the camera lifts away, zipping through the darkened backstage, seeking another altercation.
"Ah said no!" Applejack hollers as she comes into view, Rainbow Dash in front of her.
"But I need her for my team!" Rainbow Dash whines. "If I don't get Winona, I won't be able to take on Pinkie Pie! You gotta help me out here!"
"No is no, Rainbow! Especially after that time travelin' incident last week! Ah'm not puttin' 'er in anymore o' these shenanigans!"
Rainbow Dash huffs up with indigence, trotting away. "Fine, I don't need your stupid dog anyway! We'll win without her!"
Applejack shakes her head, then goes about with setting up the stage again.

* * *

The screen suddenly retracts as the red curtains sweep aside, revealing a Poke'mon stadium, filled with an enormous crowd of cheering fans. Spike's voice comes in over the loudspeaker system. "This is it, folks! The moment you've all been waiting for! The final match in the Poke'mon League Championship begins! In the red column, we have the party pony extraordinaire! Please welcome… Pinkie Pie!"
Pinkie bounds out from the left side of the stage to stand in a large red box on her side of the field. She's wearing an official Poke'mon cap, a blue and white jacket, and has several Poke'balls hanging from a belt she somehow got on. Bouncing around in circles, she cheers happily. "Woohoo! I always wanted to be in the Poke'mon League!"
"In the blue column," Spike announces yet again, "the fastest anywhere, the multicolored definition of cool, Rainbow Dash!"
As if summoned by his voice, Rainbow shoots out from the right side of the stage, pulling a daredevil turn over your heads as she wheels about at high speed! Kicking off the wall, she lands in the blue box with a skid, licking a wingtip, then pressing it to her flank with a hiss!"
"Contestants, are you ready!?" Spike yells, bringing the room to it's feet with cheering fans!
"We're all set down here, Spike!" Rainbow shouts back, a grin on her face.
Suddenly a yellow streak shoots out from backstage in the form of Fluttershy. She waves a pair of red and blue flags wildly about while blowing a whistle. "All of the Poke'mon are unable to battle! I call this fight, a draw, so that everypony can go home and not get hurt…"
"Fluttershy, you can't do that!" Rainbow Dash complains, stepping up to the yellow pegasus.
"Twilight said I was the judge and, um… that I can say when they can't fight anymore. So… I say that it's now…" Fluttershy stutters. Rainbow is about to reply when a purple light surrounded Fluttershy.
"We need to talk." Twilight trots out onto the field, then pulls her levitating friend off to the side.
"Heeheehee! Well, it looks like the judge got flagged!" Pinkie Pie giggles.
"Haha, very funny. Now can we get on with this?" Rainbow asks impatiently. They all look over at Twilight, who starts waving her hoof at them in irritation from behind the curtains.
"Well, I guess so." Spike answers slowly.
"About time!" Rainbow Dash hurries back to her square, pulling out a Poke'ball, and throws it into the arena. "Owloysius! I choose you!"
There's a flash as the owl pops out from under the backstage curtains to take his place upon the field. "Who!"
"Who? I don't know? Who?" Pinkie asks, tilting her head to one side.
"Pinkie, are we gonna battle, or are you going to talk to the owl?"
"Heehee, sorry Rainbow Dash! I got carried away!" Pinkie covers her mouth to stifle her laugh, then throws one of her Poke'balls. "Go Tauros!"
The burly form of Iron Will emerges from the curtain behind the flash. He is crouching on all fours, looking humiliated. "Iron Will does not know why he agreed to this!"
"Hey! Eyes on me, mister!" Pinkie points at her eyeballs. Iron Will looks back at her in confusion. "Poke'mon don't talk like us, they battle. Now be a good Poke'mon and use Tackle!" Turning back, Iron Will lunges at Owloysius, his hands outstretched.
"Fly away, quick!" Rainbow chews on her hoof, only breathing a sigh of relief when the owl glides safely over the minotaur.
"Don't lose him, Tauros! Use Swift attack!" Pinkie makes her closest approximation to a fist!
Looking about, Iron Will picks up a frisbee that oddly found it's way to the stage. Hurling the disc, the minotaur laughs as Owloysius tumbles to the ground, looking quite worse for the wear.
"No! I can't lose like this! Return Owloysius!" Rainbow calls with a dramatic gesture. A burst of blue magic pulls the injured owl behind the curtain, followed by a very unhappy Fluttershy's cries. Ignorant of the commotion backstage, Rainbow draws another Poke'ball. "Let's see how you handle fighting a Tank!"
Another flash erupts followed by the appearance of Tank, Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise. He blinks very, very slowly at Iron Will, who bursts out laughing! "Do you mock Iron Will with this pathetic display!? Iron Will will crush this tiny tortoise in an instant!"
"Just try it!" Rainbow taunts.
"Wait, don't…" Pinkie tries to warn her 'Poke'mon' but it's too late! The minotaur throws himself into an elbow drop at Tank, who promptly retracts into his shell.
"Iron Will has yoOOOOOH!" The minotaur squeals in pain as his elbow slams into the tortoise's shell with a crack! Several audience members wince at the sound.
"Who's on top now, Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash mocks as Iron Will is carried from the stage by a team of ponies.
Pinkie stares worriedly at the armored tortoise. Looking over her selection of Poke'balls, she draws a second and throws it. "Everything is resting on you now. Go Gummy!"
The tiny alligator waddles out from behind Pinkie, eyes the Poke'ball, then proceeds to swallow it. Pinkie grins at Rainbow Dash. "Who's got the upper hand now?"
"Bahahahahaha! You think Tank is afraid of Gummy! Your pet couldn't hurt a fly!" Rainbow laughs, rolling onto her back.
"Oh yeah!? Gummy, use Hyper Beam!" Pinkie yells triumphanty.
"Hyper-whatnow?" Rainbow looks on in confusion, her pet mirroring the motion.
Gummy however, seems to understand exactly what Pinkie is talking about. Standing on it's hind legs, the little reptile pulls a baseball bat from behind it's back somewhere, and proceeds to smack Tank over the head with it.
"What!? No! You can't do that, Pinkie!" Rainbow objects, racing over to the side of her pet. Tank looks slowly up at her, then opens his mouth and lets out a pathetic wheeze. "I'm sorry, Tank! Don't worry, I'll get you some help!"
With that, Rainbow Dash flies off with her pet in her arms, leaving Pinkie standing on the field. Spike's voice comes ringing out from overhead. "Well, it looks like Rainbow Dash has forfeited the match! The winner, and new Poke'mon Champion is Pinkie Pie!"
"Yay, you did it Gummy!" Pinkie whoops, rushing over and scooping up the little alligator, who promptly latches his toothless mouth onto Pinkie's muzzle. She parades happily off the stage as the curtain falls.

* * *

An eerie beat starts to play as the lights dim, until the only sight is the glimmer of green flames that start rising from the stage! In a whirl of luminescent smoke, Chrysalis appears, with Pinkie sitting next to her. The party pony's nose is buried in a chocolate cake, and she seems quite oblivious to the goings on of the changeling Queen.
"Greetings, foalish humans and ponies alike! I am Chrysalis, Queen of the changelings. Today I wish to campaign for your votes in the upcoming election for Ruler of Everything! While I can not make promises of glory and speak lies about easy reform, I do want to point something out to you. Do you really want to trust Celestia, who has abused her power time and again!? Or what of Luna, who was so quick to turn on you just for sleeping!? Surely you do not trust Discord to be anything other than a force of destruction to rain fear upon you unprotected heads! "
"I on the other hoof, will promise to be exactly what I am. Sure you may be forced to aid in the feeding of my subjects, but is that really so bad compared to you other options? I encourage my subjects to love, not give them false hope then tear it away from them! I will never lie to you, betray you in any way that I won't tell you about, or anything of the sort! Of all the candidates, you can be sure that you can trust me. Ahahahahaha!"
With that she disappears again, leaving Pinkie Pie on the stage. As the earth pony gobbles down the last of her sweets, she looks up. "Oh, and a vote for us is a vote for cake!" She promptly rises and trots merrily backstage, humming as she goes.

* * *

The lights do not come up as the campaign ends. Instead, the room becomes pitch black. Several voices start whispering in confusion as ponies and bronies squirm about in their seats, wondering what happened to the lights.
"Do you know what's going on?" Geri Fore asks his companion.
"Nope." Mr. Waddle answers. "I'm completely in the dark."
The quiet whispers are suddenly disrupted when a beat starts to play. A high pitched voice cuts through the room, sending a thrilling chill with it. The sound is unmistakable.

As he came into the window,
It was the sound of,
A crescendo!"

The voice of Michael Jackson almost whispers, yet sends the entire room into a hush. Lights flash to life, revealing what appears to be the surface of the moon, with the Earth hanging in the distance. Michael is now wearing a white suit and fedora, which is tilted over his eyes. Behind him, Luna stands in the same posture, her own black pinstripe suit matching his to a tee.

He came into her apartment.
He left bloodstains on the carpet!"

The pair begin popping and twisting, each step in time as Luna follows each motion, her own face impassive as she mimics him. They break into a moonwalk, strutting backwards, leaving a trail of shimmering moon dust in their wake.

"She ran underneat the table,
He could see she was unable.
So she ran into the bedroom.
She was struck down,
It was her doom!"

The two dancers spin in harmony, rocking and sliding back to center stage.

"Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?"

Michael hops, kicking out as he spins, pointing up at the stars! Moon dust flies everywhere as they shoot down from above, filling the stage. As it settles, there are now many more ponies all about, wearing grey suits and fedoras. They all sing in unison, taking up the chorus line.

"Annie are you okay?
Will you tell us, that you're okay?
There's a sign in the window,
That he struck you-
A crescendo Annie!
He came into your apartment,
He left the blood stains, on the carpet!
Then you ran into the bedroom,
You were struck down,
It was your doom!"

The ponies go silent once again, freezing in a mosaic as Michael dances among them, his eyes intense as he jerks through them, closing with Luna, who continues to mirror his motions.

"Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
Annie are you okay,
So Annie are you okay,
Are you okay Annie?
You've been hit by,
You've been hit by-
A smooth crimina!"

The dance comes abruptly to an end, with Michael Jackson holding Luna in a dance, their eyes locked together, each one's face impassive. The lights suddenly shoot up as the stage seems to vanish before you, eliciting claps and uproarious cheers as everypony whoops with delight!

* * *

Spike dashes out onto the stage, followed closely by the guest star, who seems meek after the stunning performance. All around you, the applause continues as they step up to center stage, only ceasing as the King of Pop waves you down gently.
"That was quite a show! I know I was excited! How does it feel to perform like that, Mr. Jackson?" Spike asks, presenting the microphone up to the superstar.
"Well it's quite exhilarating, quite exhilarating. I always love to come dance with you all." He answers, eliciting another round of cheering.
"Huhaha! That's great, and you're so good! I'll have to try some of those moves sometime." Spike glances offstage, then returns his attention to you all, pulling out a note. "So now it's time for our new segment, fanmail!"
More cheering and clapping sounds as Spike returns his gaze to Michael. "Part of the reason we invited you, Mr. Jackson, is because we wanted you to ask the questions for our fans!"
As Michael takes the fanmail, he smiles. "I'm honored." He slowly opens it, scanning over the contents quickly before reading out. "This question comes from The MJ Brony of He asks the Mane 6, 'Have you listened to Michael Jackson? If so, what are your favorite songs of his?"
Upon hearing themselves be called up, the girls step out on stage amidst more cheers! Twilight accepts the microphone from Michael Jackson with a magic glow, bringing it up to herself.
"Thank you, Mr. Jackson."
"It's Michael, please." He waves, looking a little embarrassed at all of the formality.
"Okay then Michael, and to you MJ Brony. I've actually liked a few of your works, but my favorite has to be from when you were a kid. The song is called 'Ben', and tells of the touching relationship you had with your pet." Twilight smiles sadly as Michael starts tearing up. "I've found that in our lives, we have wonderful friends who we can rely upon, and hearing that, I know you had a true friend of your own."
She passes the mic on as Rarity magically offers Michael a handkerchief. Taking up the mic next, Rainbow Dash grins. "I've always loved your music! It's so awesome! My personal favorites are 'Bad' and 'Beat It', but it's really hard deciding which ones are the best!"
Fluttershy takes it next, smiling shyly up at the superstar. "I… um… that is… I always sort of liked, um… 'Man in the Mirror'. It's a pretty song about helping everypony and making life better."
Pinkie swiftly takes the mic, practically bouncing out of her skin. "Hello Michael! I've always been a superduper big fan of all of your songs! They're so much fun to dance to! I really can't decide which one is my favorite, except maybe for 'Black or White', because it's all about making friends! Oh that song is so much fun! Heeheeheehee!"
Rarity quickly removes the microphone from Pinkie's grasp before she goes any further with he avalanche of questions. Clearing her throat, Rarity speaks in her best 'I'm talking to Canterlot high society' voice. "First let me say it is good to see you doing so well, sir. I have always admired your impeccable sense of fashion. You have been an inspiration to me several times. As for my favorite song, I am particularly fond of 'PYT'. I can almost see you singing right to my heart! It's such a romantic song!"
She prepares to continue her fawning adoration when the mic is swiped away by Applejack. Rarity glares at the earth pony, then sticks her nose in the air with a snort. Shaking her head with a smile, Applejack looks up at Michael. "Ah've not heard much o' your music, but ah do like this one song ya did with Barry Gibb. Ah think it was 'All in Your Name'.
Princess Celestia steps out onto the stage, smiling sadly to the girls. "I am sorry to cut you off, my little ponies. It is time for our guest to go." She looks over to Michael. "It was wonderful having you, sir. I hope we get a chance to meet you again."
"It was wonderful. Thank you for this last time." He replies humbly, spreading his arms slowly as Princess Celestia's horn glows brightly. A brilliant light cascades from the superstar, filling the entire chamber as if a star were being born right there! Magic bursts forth, scattering moon dust out across the audience as the legend returns to his rest.

* * *

The girls retreat from the stage as Spike fights a sniffle. "Boy, what a goodbye. A big thank you to Michael Jackson for showing up, and leaving us all with a memory to keep."
"Hey, you done talking, dragon thing?" The chittering voice of Yellowbelly the changeling creeks out from behind the curtain.
"Oh, right. The show must go on." Spike wipes back a tear then clears his throat. "Now it's time for our behind the scenes camera crew to show us what they've been up to!" Leaning forward, Spike whispers into the  mic like he's sharing a secret. "…and what everypony else is up to."
The two changelings, Bluenose and Yellowbelly buzz out from behind the curtains, waving their hooves in the air at the cheering audience. They sweep about the room, cackling happily as the big screen lowers down yet again, ready to present a video of somepony's most embarrassing moments!

* * *

The video starts up, wobbling vigorously as the camera operator carries it pointed towards the ground, showing you a great view of the grass and Yellowbelly's oddly glowing yellow belly. The changelings are tittering to themselves as they approach their destination. You see tree roots, then the camera shifts up, pointing at a treehouse sitting out past the Apple Family's zap apple trees. The multileveled construct seems to have a new addition to it, something akin to a firepony's pole.
Two fillies, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sit in rapt curiosity before the pole, staring up at it intently. They smile in delight as a third, the little orange form of Scootaloo comes sliding down the pole, her hind legs twined around it as she whirls in circles, grinning the whole way down. Before she reaches the bottom, however, she stops, leans back so her forehooves almost touch the ground, spreading them wide. The other two fillies clap excitedly, giggling at the antics of their friend.
"…and that's how you do a pole dance!" Scootaloo says cheerfully.
"How did you say you learned this, again?" Sweetie Belle asks, looking curiously up at the smooth metal pole.
"I followed Rainbow Dash one night when she was going to a club! There was a little crack in the curtains, and I saw her doing this to music! There were lots of other mares doing it too, and ponies were throwing bits at them!" Scootaloo explains proudly.
"Ah can make money fer the farm, an' learn mah special talent! This is great!" Apple Bloom exclaims, trotting for the ramp leading up to the treehouse. "Ah wunna try next!"
"Don't worry girls, now that we've got our own pole, we can practice all we want!" Scootaloo grins.
"I still don't know. Something seems kinda weird about this." Sweetie Belle puts a hoof on her chin, trying to decide what she feels about the pole.
The chittering camera crew turns the view over to the left, where Applejack is approaching from the farm. She hollers out to the treehouse, trying to get her little sister's attention. "Apple Bloom, it's time ta get yer chores done!"
As she draws nearer, she spots the fillies playing on the pole, makes an incredulous face, and start's trotting faster. "What in the hay are those fillies up to?"
Arriving at the treehouse, she stops just in time to watch her sister slide down the pole, hind hooves crossed over the metal rod, while her forehooves hang wide out. The older earth pony stares openmouthed at the display, her eyes growing small.
"Apple Bloom! What in tarnation are ya doin'!?" She demands, but her tone seems lost upon the playing girls.
"Practicing!" Apple Bloom replies cheerfully. "We're gonna be…"
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER POLE DANCERS!" The three fillies yell out!
For a long moment, Applejack is dumbstruck by the announcement. Her shock, however, quickly turns to anger. "Y'all will do no such thing! Do ya even know what that means!?"
"It's a dance that makes ponies give you lots of money! Rainbow Dash taught us!" Scootaloo explains, hoping to calm Applejack down.
"Rainbow did whut..?"
"She taught us how to do the dance!" Scootaloo repeats, not realizing that Applejack had heard her quite well the first time.
"Listen girls, y'all need ta take that… thing… down right naow! Ah need ta go have a talk with Rainbow Dash…"

* * *

The screen dims as the lights come up, illuminating the room once again. Spike steps out onto the stage, trying to hide his reddened cheeks behind a sheepish grin. "Well, uh… that was interesting… haha… yeah…" He decides that forgetting might be a better route to take, and quickly changes the subject. "So that's it for today's show! Be sure to leave a comment at our booth in the lobby, as well as more fan mail for our new segment! Thank you everypony, we'll see you next time on the Pony Variety Show!"

* * *

As you all file out of the theatre, you notice that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are not here today. Instead, Pipsqueak and Dinky sit in, watching the suggestions and fanmail booth. They both give you cheerful smiles as you come over, leave your thoughts, and maybe a fan mail question.
"'ank ye koindly for yore oideas!" Pip pipes up, grinning. "We do appreciate et!"
Finally, you break into the free, open air of the outdoors, listening as people joke about the show, the wild, goofball antics, and the surprises nopony saw coming!
The lights dim! The cameras roll! The show is about to begin, and hilarity will ensue! Be warned! The Pony Variety Show is not for the easily offended!

Act 1: Soarin' and Spitfire reenact one of the spiciest scenes from American Pie!
Act 2: Poke'ball go! Pinkie Pie vs. Rainbow Dash! Who will win!?
Act 3: A bit of song and dance from our very special guest star...
Behind the Scenes!: The Cutie Mark Crusaders discover pole dancing. Could this be their special talent!?

First Show: [link]
Last Show: [link]
Next Show: In Progress

Special Thanks
:iconlillyfoot15: and :iconporcumoose:
Without you two, I'd never be able to keep going! Thank you both for your support, editing, and research assistance! It's awesome!

The Pony Variety Show! © :iconardanblade:
My Little Pony © :iconfyre-flye: and Hasbro
Add a Comment:
TrixiePixel1456 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012   Artist
The man in his underwear is off to find some pants LOL
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Twilight: "Since the incident, we've done our best to enforce a dress code. It's kinda hard to do over the internet though."
JENNY-87 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
Jenny: I saw much, but never got to comment on what ideas I want to see. But it was a great show! :D
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Twilight: "We'd love to hear from you! If you do have any suggestions, please feel free to share them anytime! Thank you for coming to our show!"
JENNY-87 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
Jenny: Hmm...has their ever been a parody of a famous '80s movie, like "Ghostbusters"?
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Twilight: "A Ghostbusters parody? We'd love to try it!"
JENNY-87 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
Jenny: Thanks! I'll look forward to seeing it! ^^
nephilim-s Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Dude, you sure know how to make a person bust a gut laughing! Awesome work. :lmao:
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Glad you enjoyed the show! I'd love to hear from you about what you might like to see happen next time!
porcuMoose Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
Oh crap ..... Cutie Mark Crusader Pole Dancers .....

Awesome episode though, instant favourite!
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Apple Bloom: "We're glad ya liked it..."
Scootaloo: "...and we hope you come back soon..."
Sweetie Belle: "...but could you tell Applejack..."
All together: "...IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!" They continue sweeping floors, looking dejected.
porcuMoose Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
Zannpony: "Well, Scootaloo dear, I think that shows you
that Dashie-kins isn't such a good role model for you..
am I right?"
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Scootaloo: "No way! She's the most awesome role model ever! Besides that, the pole thing was kinda fun!"
porcuMoose Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
Zannpony: *Eyes the tiny filly in amazement.*
".. Umm, the thing is, that kind of dancing is highly
inappropriate, especially at your age ... you know that?"
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Scootaloo: "Doesn't mean it wasn't fun to do! I was enjoying myself."
porcuMoose Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
Zannpony: *Whispers to self*
"I can see her future now .."
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Scootaloo: "My future's gonna be awesome! I'll grow up to be just like Rainbow Dash!"
(1 Reply)
BigDream64 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This is supposed to be in the fan fics fodler, but I'll move it.
ArdanBlade Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Oh, oops! My bad! Thank you for fixing it for me!
Add a Comment:

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